In case you were wondering how I manage to keep a house, raise three children, volunteer up to my eyebrows, and STILL look this fabulous in my fleece yoga pants (that my husband is probably regretting getting me for Christmas), then read on!
Where shall we start? The aforementioned yoga pants? Sure! They are fleece, and they are fabulous. Warm. Cozy. Versatile. I mean dark charcoal gray goes with everything right? I have black and white t-shirts, an orangy-red t-shirt, and a purple t-shirt (that can be paired with a black, white, or pink nursing tank!) that go very well with these pants. The are easy to clean--wipe spit up, baby food, AND snot with just a damp a rag and you're ready to go! They are also quite warm for those frosty minutes at the bus stop. Just pair them with the old, fuzzy gray duster sweater and my gray sweater clogs, and you have a very stylish bus stop ensemble indeed! This is definitely one of the MVPs in my wardrobe.
How about my hair? Most of the time, I have it styled in a very functional low pony or, if I'm feeling adventurous, a low messy bun. I've found this is essential, in order to keep the tresses out of the baby food and snot. However, sometimes, a glamorous stay-at-home-mommy wants to feel sexy and provocative. For that, I like luxurious, beachy waves, and I have discovered that iced sweet tea is fabulous for that! It's even better if your 10 month old applies it by pulling the cup of tea down on your head. You even achieve that certain "crunchiness" that is so often sought after. (Just be sure you have bangs to cover up the small bruise left on your forehead from the cup smacking it!) Finally, for the special occasions, I tend to:
1) Wash my hair.
2) Okay, that's really about it. Just wash it.
3) If I have time, I might add some mousse. The mousse for your hair, not the chocolate kind. Although, I wouldn't actually rule that out, because it might work. I'm confident that the chance to try that hypothesis out will present itself sometime in the next 5 years or so. I'll let you know!
Now, onto my fresh, dewy complexion. And by "fresh" I mean that it's fresh from my bed, and by "dewy," I mean it might be a little shiny still. If I can manage and remember to get a washcloth over my face after brushing my teeth every morning, I'm doing pretty well. Also, I figure no one needs eye make up when there's plenty of "smokiness" (or, you know, shadowy bags) naturally!
Make up, however, DOES have its place in the fashionable mommy's arsenal. I have found that lip liner and tinted lip gloss are life-savers when trying to disguise the fat lip your toddler gave you by (accidentally) head butting you in the mouth. It ALMOST looks like no one clocked you in the face. Okay, maybe not, but it makes you feel a little better about being stuck in the house until the swelling goes down!
Now, as far as health and fitness goes, I have got a tough, but awesome routine down. I start the morning with some warm ups and weight training by creaking down the hall on my arthritic knee and heaving dry laundry to the bedroom, wet laundry into the dryer, and dirty laundry into the washer. Next comes my cardio: a mad dash down the stairs and around the kitchen, making lunches and breakfasts I should have made 15 minutes ago, and then out the door to the school bus. I take a short break to eat a high-fiber, low-fat, low-carb, no-sugar, no-salt, gluten-free, chemical-free---oh, forget it! This white-chocolate-cranberry cookie looks good. Or maybe some ice cream? Or, heck, maybe just a cup of tea.
Next, let's talk about the nails. The only part of my entire being that looks like it was planned, articulated, and executed in more than 15 minutes is my hands! (This might be a shameless product plug, but) I sell Jamberry Nails, and let me tell you, they are AWESOME! They are my little bit of "pretty" and "fashionable" in this crazy chaos of my life. I love color and design, lines and ambiance. And the fact that I can have that everyday, for a ridiculously small amount of money makes me so very happy.
I guess unless I get it together, my hands are the only part of me that people will exclaim (positively) over. Although, covered in snot, baby food, spit up, and sweet tea, perhaps no one will come close enough to SEE my nails. I probably look about as approachable as the crazy homeless pigeon lady in Home Alone 2.
Oh, well. I guess we can't have everything.
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