Fleeting

Today was Baby Girl's first day of second grade.  Each year, I feel a little older as she gets to be more and more grown up; a little taller, a little less round in the face, a lot more gangly.  We decided to walk her to school this year, at least part of the time, for some exercise for me and some fresh air for everyone else.  It's not a bad walk; our neighborhood (or "city" as she used to call it when we first moved in) is surrounded by good North Carolina woodland and the school path winds along between civilization and wilderness for  a little more than a mile.  But I have a fabulous double jogging stroller for the little ones, and we had a nice, fragrant walk to school this morning.

As we walked, we talked about the other kids who live closer than us and HAD to walk to school.  Baby Girl is looking forward to the day that she is old enough to take herself to and from school, which the Army says is 5th grade.  That got me thinking ahead a few years to when all of my kids are in school.  When Pumpkin is in Kindergarten, Sweetie will be in second grade, and Baby Girl will be in seventh grade.  Five years in the future.  It seems a long ways away to me now; the baby is still waking to eat at night, Sweetie is still mastering potty training.  Baby Girl is still mastering reading and math concepts.  They seem so young to me still.  Then I realized that just five years ago, Baby Girl was a bright, funny two-year-old.  And I realized that five years is just a blink of the eye.

All too soon my babies will all be in school and I'll be missing the sleepless nights and wet pants and snuggling in bed to listen to stories read haltingly by a novice reader.  Soon, five years will turn into 10.  Then 15.  Then 20.  And the XO (my husband, or Executive Officer) and I will be alone again.(although hopefully with some grandchildren!)

There were days this summer that I couldn't WAIT for bedtime.  Or school to start.  Or the XO to get home.  So that I could pee in private.  Or check my email without someone whining that they wanted to play on PBSKids.com.  Or even bask in the gloriousness of the clean house I scrubbed all day long.  And all along I KNEW I should be trying to slow down and enjoy the moments, ignore the crumbs on the floor or the stray shoes in the hall.  I KNEW I should be writing down all the funny things Sweetie said or the milestones Pumpkin reached or spending extra time teaching Baby Girl how to sew instead of mopping the kitchen floor that was going to get spilled on 20 minutes later anyway.  But I didn't pause to enjoy them nearly enough.

So, on the way to second grade this morning, it hit me hard.  My babies are growing up with lightning speed and I better be careful that I don't miss it!  I need to again make it my priority to spend quality time with each of them and all of them.  It's so easy to get caught up in schedules and appointments, homework and classes, the million little daily tasks that keep a household running smoothly.  But my kids aren't going to remember that we were on time and ready for every single dance class, or that I always swept and mopped the kitchen floor after each meal.  They'll remember having popcorn and movie nights, playing Memory on a rainy day, reading bedtime stories in mom and dad's bed.  I hope they'll remember that Mom took the time to hear each of their problems and share in each of their successes.  I hope when they become mothers themselves, they will know what to do and will be confident in their ability to do it.  And I really hope they'll always know how unutterably precious each one of them is to me.  Because I can't give them anything better than that.