Homecoming

Something happened yesterday that made me happy and emotional and thankful and humble and awed. But mostly happy.  Mostly really happy with warm fuzzies.  And that was a soldier placing temporary signs along the road.

I'd spent the day running all over post, trying to make sure I stayed on time for all my errands.  My oldest daughter, Baby Girl, was at her sewing class, and in the mean time, I'd run to the post office to mail off some of my handmade items, taken my sick middle daughter (Sweetie) to the doctor's office, and fed my baby daughter (Pumpkin) in the somewhat-cooler-than-outside-AC of my car.  All while planning dinner in my head, as we were going to the commissary after sewing class, and internally whining about how it was only Tuesday and my husband was going to be out in the field for three more LONG days!

As I was leaving the doctor's office, I noticed a soldier get out of his car and place a smallish, temporary sign at an intersection.  It had arrows directing drivers to the redeployment area. And I got a little thrill!  Redeployment!

Now, I'm sure everyone can appreciate why redeployment is special.  It's that homecoming that they show on the news or in YouTube clips.  It's newly-weds reuniting or a soldier holding his baby for the first time or soldier hugging her children again.  Sappy, tear-jerker moments that the media loves to capture.  It's a feel-good, human interest story.  And the on-lookers can be a part of the celebration.  What the media doesn't show is how a homecoming--ANY homecoming--is a special, wonderful thing for an Army spouse.

I've been married to my soldier for 8 years now, but we began dating during our senior year of high school, and he enlisted about a year and a half later.  We did the long-distance thing through basic training and his first duty station, since I was in college.  And the separation was hard and the reunions were great, but we didn't appreciate them until he was deployed to a war zone in 2003.

For months, I slept with CNN on my dorm-room TV 24/7. You see, he was with the 3rd Infantry Division and was with the first wave into Iraq.  And I was young and the nation was tense and it was scary.  But, I was used to being away from him, so for me, the misery of that first deployment was the worry of his safety. It was a short deployment, though.  Only six and a half months.

That particular homecoming was in mid-July.  In Georgia.  And we sat in a gym on Kelly Hill that was not air-conditioned, waiting for what seemed like forever (and the last two hours are FOREVER!) for the buses to pull in.  I can remember only bits and pieces; fragmented memories like snapshots because I was so overwhelmed with emotion.  I remember the air was heavy with the humidity of the south, but also with a barely suppressed excitement and joy.  I sat ramrod straight on the wooden bleachers, trying desperately not to muss my hair or smudge my make-up, all the while counting off the minutes, 60 seconds at a time.  And then, I remember watching them all file in, straight rows, straight backs, heads held high despite the full battle gear they all wore.  I remember searching frantically for MY soldier, only to find that they really do all look alike. Then there was the commander's short speech and dismissal order.  From my spot on the bleachers, it looked like a sheet of camouflaged glass that had been broken and the splinters scattered, searching for loved ones.  I remember the first kiss and embrace and tears.  Because we were so young and so scared and so thankful.

Fast forward to our second homecoming two and a half years later.  I'd graduated college, we'd gotten married, and I was three months pregnant when he deployed-again, to Iraq.  Our daughter was born right in the middle of R&R, thank goodness!  But, there's nothing like seeing your husband for the first time in six months with a baby and a post-baby body! I'd moved home to Ohio, and had to fly down to Ft. Benning for the homecoming.  I changed my flight four times in three days before getting official word from the FRG that he was coming home.  Then my flight was late.  Luckily, so was his!  This time, the new building at the air field was constructed, and Baby Girl and I were able to sit in comfort and warmth (it was January) while we watched and cheered as they de-planed.  When they finally assembled in front of us and were dismissed, I felt like an ant, scurrying around everywhere, looking for my soldier.  When I finally found him, Baby Girl was squished between us, caught up in our embrace.  We just laughed and Baby Girl just LOOKED at Daddy.

Our third homecoming was just a month shy of three years later.  Baby Girl was a boisterous, happy three year old, and Christmas was right around the corner.  This was a Guard deployment, and it was the first rodeo for many of the soldiers and their families, so the excitement level was through the roof!  The ceremony was being held at a local high school with all the state politicians and high school students in attendance.  Quite different from the other experiences we'd had.  But, Baby Girl and I had made signs and dressed up and were standing outside the school building in the icy, misty half-rain, ready to meet the buses.  This was the first time we'd been able to get a hug as soon as we made eye contact, so that was kind of special.  There were immediate and extended family there; being the National Guard, most soldiers had a lot of family and friends close by.  The buses pulled in and everyone cheered and tried, with barely-concealed patience, to get to their loved one without knocking down everyone in their path!  I can remember that Baby Girl got the first hug that time, and I'm pretty sure I cried at the look on her face.

Baby Girl and Daddy in 2008

Our fourth homecoming occurred just eight months ago.  Because we got to Ft. Bragg after his unit deployed, my husband was sent to Iraq on the last flight out.  In fact, we had a return range of dates for his unit BEFORE he left!  He was gone just 10 weeks--barely a blink in the Army world--but we got to go to the airfield and watch the planes come in in person instead of on a monitor, so that was exciting!  Baby Girl was 6 and a half and Sweetie was almost 2, and I was just about 6  months pregnant with Pumpkin, so it was very thrilling for them to get up early and get dressed in their matching shirts to welcome Daddy home.  They liked the balloons and the snacks I'd brought in case we had to wait! Oh, and of course, they liked to see Daddy.

Sweetie and Daddy in 2011

In most books about deployments and homecomings, they tell you never to have too high of expectations about the event.  That low-key is best, and you should ease back into your roles.  And they're right. But it's also important to enjoy the high, because it's like nothing I've ever experienced.  The 9-, 12-, 15-month deployments are so hard.  And they seem so long at the beginning.  Until you get to the last two weeks, when you have a DATE.  And the last five days, when you are frantically cleaning house and getting your hair done.  And the final two hours that you are waiting at the redeployment site with your children, who USED to be clean, neat, and adorably dressed, but are now covered in Goldfish crumbs and apple juice and are dirty and disheveled from crawling around on the floor. And the last five or so minutes that it takes you to find your soldier in the fabulous chaos of ACUs and stilettos.  And the 3 seconds it takes to get to him and to finally touch him again.  And then--that moment that you DO finally get to touch him again--in that moment, that crazy, ridiculous rush of emotion--it almost makes the deployment worth it.  Almost.


The girls and I saw, well actually drove under, some of the planes on our way home, and we talked about the mommies and daddies that were coming home.   Just knowing that their loved ones were waiting for them made me smile and think about how there might be a lot of parts in this Army life that are hard and ugly, there are also some of the best experiences in the world. I'm thankful to make it through the ugly parts and enjoy the awesome ones!