Asocial Graces

I thought one of the pluses to having three girls was having an easier time teaching manners, etiquette, and polite conversation.  Because playing tea party and having fancy dinners is fun for little girls, right?  Well, it IS, but that hasn't really improved their social graces much.

Now, the ones that can talk do say please and thank you--sometimes without prompting!--and they are generally kind and polite.  But their meeting-new-people manners are in need of some work.

For example, when the XO was promoted last month, I dressed our children in adorable matching dresses, ordered breakfast from Panera, and got everything delivered, set up, and coordinated by 9 am (the day after the Fourth of July fireworks.....).  I felt quite proud of myself until the time came for the girls to meet the XO's commanding officer.  At that point, Pumpkin drooled and blew spit bubbles (I guess this is acceptable when you are only 3 months old), Sweetie hid behind my skirt and refused to look at anyone, and Baby Girl simultaneously contorted her body into a shape that would have earned her a spot in the Cirque du Soleil, made a strange noise, and then pulled her skirt up to her neck.....  Oh, my.

Now, meeting new people--especially adults who are IMPORTANT--can be nerve-wracking.  I was a ridiculously shy child, too.  I probably would have hidden behind my mother when I was 10!  And I rarely was introduced to my parents' bosses.  So, I can understand the anxiety.  However......I decided we needed to address the proper and appropriate way to meet new people, greet others, and make polite conversation.  And the coaching began.

We played games (tea parties!  fancy balls!) and talked a lot about what to say to grown ups that Daddy works with.  We discussed smiling nicely, standing still, and shaking hands.  Baby Girl understood, of course, but I could tell she was still a little nervous.  Sweetie looked at me like I'd lost my mind when I started asking her, "What's your name?" and "How old are you?" and "My, aren't you cute!"  Because as Mommy, shouldn't I KNOW the answer!?

Now, fast forward to the Hail and Farewell last week.  (For my non-military affiliated friends, a Hail and Farewell is a social gathering that sends off and welcomes officers as they change positions.)  This one was a "hail" for the XO, who recently became a platoon leader, so I deemed it important to attend and made plans accordingly.  Once again, I got four girls ready (I actually straightened my hair, found a dress, and put on make-up), packed everyone up (and extra clothes for Sweetie, who is in the middle of potty training) and fed the girls, as I knew that Mediterranean fare would not satisfy them as much as chicken nuggets.  On our way there, I coached the two older girls on polite answers, quiet voices, pretty smiles, and appropriate behavior and demeanor.  We role-played a conversation, even.  Baby Girl did well, remembering to answer the standard, "What grade are you in?" and "Do you like school?" questions clearly and briefly.  Even Sweetie seemed to be catching on.

We got to the restaurant and had to go directly to the restroom because Sweetie said she had to go when we were 5 minutes from our destination.  We got that business taken care of and joined the party, only to trek back downstairs from the private party room and through the busy Friday-night restaurant 2 more times for potty breaks.  The second time we returned, the XO was introducing Baby Girl to the Battalion Commander--nothing less than a Lt. Colonel.  So, we headed over in time to hear Baby Girl politely, if somewhat sheepishly, answering questions while keeping the hem of her dress below her knees.  I was so proud.

Speaking of pride, Sweetie had successfully used the restroom, and was delighted that she'd had dry undies since waking up that morning.  So, when we arrived, the XO introduced us, and the LTC asked Sweetie, "How are you today, cutie?"  To which my adorable two year old replied at the top of her voice, "I PEED!!"

I guess some of us still have some work to do in the etiquette department.